


5 Scenes to Add + 1 Scene to Edit to Make Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Season 1 Really Really Gay

by HeartHarps



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 19:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13106874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartHarps/pseuds/HeartHarps
Summary: It's that easy.Alternate title: Two Gay Guys Doing Homoerotic Things





	5 Scenes to Add + 1 Scene to Edit to Make Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Season 1 Really Really Gay

**Author's Note:**

> So it's holiday break and I binged season 1 of this awesome show. And really, it would have been so so so easy to make it gay.  
> Disclaimers: this is not including the removal of the 3.5 seconds of hetero bullshit between Todd and Farah. Also I haven't seen season 2 so not season 2 compliant.  
> Enjoy!

Dirk moved to keep walking, but stopped when Todd spoke.

“And Dirk…”

He turned back, trying to keep the air of supportive attention about. 

“I am your friend.”

Dirk couldn’t keep the smile from taking over his face, but he quickly masked it neutral expressions of pensiveness. Todd just looked at him. Was he supposed to say something? Oh god, what should he say—

“Can I kiss you?” Todd asked.

All of Dirk’s mental processes seemed to stop. “What?”

“You know, put my mouth on—”

“I know what kissing is,” Dirk defended, “But. Um. Why?”

“‘Cause I like you. And I want to. Oh, here,” Todd said, and reached up to smooth one of the bandaids that had started to fall off back onto Dirk’s face. Dirk was hardly breathing. Todd was so close, his hand was resting again Dirk’s face, he was just staring a Dirk, watching, waiting.

“Yes you can kiss me,” Dirk managed to whisper, and he saw the slightest smile form over Todd’s lips before his face closed in and kissed Dirk. 

As soon as it happened, Todd was pulling away and opening his eyes again and asking, “Was that okay?”

Dirk nodded, inhaling through his nose. He realized how out of breath he actually was, exhaled loudly and starting to breath again.   
“You sure?” Todd asked, remaining very _very_ close to Todd’s face.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

Todd smiled and took Dirk’s face with his other hand as well. “Okay,” He said, and pulled Dirk down into another kiss.

Dirk shut his eyes this time and tried to let himself feel this out, just like he would if he was on a case. Well, he was on a case, and he probably should be getting back to it, actually—

_Shut up! Stop thinking!_  He told himself. 

So he did. Dirk used his height and leaned over Todd, letting his hands slide around Todd’s torso. He lifted his head, separating their lips with a _smack_ , and then kissed Todd again, quickly slipping his tongue between Todd’s lips and then out again. But Todd responded with his own tongue. He leaned back even more until they were chest to chest. Todd wrapped his arms around Dirk’s neck, letting his tongue trace Dirk’s teeth and lips.

Dirk eventually pulled away, straightening up and stepping back, but keeping his hands holding Todd by his sides. “Wow.”

Todd laughed.

“We should, get back to the truck.”

“Right. Yes.”

Dirk moved to leave, then paused. He didn’t like not touching Todd anymore. He turned back around, took Todd’s hand, and then resumed walking away.

Once they had found a comfortable pace, Dirk said, “You’re good at that,” He was unable to keep anything on his face except a smile.

“What,” Todd asked, “Kissing?”

“Yeah.”

Todd didn’t answer but he was smiling, and holding Dirk’s hand, and walking, and smiling.

 

+

“And you should bring Amanda,” Dirk explained, “She isn’t safe here.”

“Okay,” Todd confirmed, and jogged around the car.

“And Todd!” Dirk called again, and Todd came up next to the passenger seat. He looked nervous and upset, which made sense. Dirk’s chest hurt. He leaned out and kissed Todd. Chaste, but sweet. When he pulled away, Todd still looked nervous, but he was smiling. “This is the right thing to do,” Dirk promised. “I’ll see you soon.”

Todd nodded and left.

 

+

“Hey so, are you okay?”  Farah asked, giving Dirk a quick glance before checking her blind spot and merging over.

“Hm?" Dirk glanced back from the passenger seat of the Jeep. "Yeah, of course.”

“‘Cause Todd told me what you did.”

Dirk blanched. “He did?”

“Yeah.” Farah looked at him again. “It’s okay, Dirk. Death is scary. Killing, is traumatic. If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed—”

“Oh, the killing?” Dirk interrupted, weight lifting off his chest. “That was easy. We just let the kitten do its thing.”

Farah frowned. “Oh.” Then, “What did you think I was talking about?”

_Shit_. “Nothing.”

“Dirk.”

“Nothing! It’s none of your business,” Dirk said, turning as far away from her as he could.

“What if it is?” Farah asked, actually starting to get concerned now. “If I’m going to keep you idiots safe, I need to know everything. Everything. Ev—”

“Fine!” He sat up, but crossed his arms and sighed. “I know you’re not going to approve, but there’s nothing you can do about it…Todd and I kissed. In the woods.” Dirk braced himself for shouts, screams, anything, but…Nothing came. He looked over.

Farah laughed. Like, really laughed. Loudly. “That’s great.”

“What?”

“Awww, look at you, you’re so red,” She teased, poking Dirk’s cheek and continuing to laugh.

“No I’m not!”

Farah shook her head as she shook out the last chuckles. “You thought that was a big deal?”

“I don’t know, you’re the one who wants to know _everything_!”

“It’s fine, really, I’m happy for you.”

“...You are?”

“Yeah, whatever. You’ve been through a lot together; it makes sense. Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“What, like, sacrifice myself for him?” Dirk shook his head. “I would’ve done that anyways.”

Farah considered it. Then, she dejectedly admitted, “Yeah, you’re right.”

 

+

Dirk reached out one hand across the chain-link cell. He was about to explain just how painful it was to move, or else he would be trying to get closer to Todd, but Todd didn’t give him the chance, spitting, “I’m still mad at you.”

So Dirk gave up.

 

+

 

“I'm here because I'm your friend,” Todd said, and seeing the surprise on Dirk’s face hurt. “Besides, I don't want to miss out on when the next case starts.”

Dirk processed and processed and stumbled over his words. He didn’t know what to say.

So Todd leaned in and kissed him, chaste, but sweet, and the smile on Dirk’s face when he pulled away made Todd’s heart sing. 

Dirk fumbled around some more before taking a good look at the shirt and saying, “Didn't you say this band hated you?”

“Yeah, well. We’re late. Farah wants to meet up.”

“What? Really?”

 

+

Arriving at the diner, late, they actually beat Farah and went to sit alone. Dirk slid into the booth quickly, and Todd took no time sliding in next to him. He slid the menu over with one hand and took Dirk’s hand under the table with the other. Dirk smiled and pretended to read it.

But after a minute of silent consideration of brunch, Dirk was the first to speak up, “So, are we okay?”

Todd looked at him, and then away. He thought. “I think we, whatever _we_  are…”

Dirk started to panic as Todd trailed off. 

But then, “Yeah I think we’re great.”

Dirk smiled.

Todd kissed him. For the first time in so, so long, they were kissing again. Deep, drawn out, like it could last forever—

“Awww.” 

They pulled apart instantly. “Farah!” Todd said. Dirk patted his hair. Todd repositioned to be less on top of Dirk, but kept his hold on Dirk’s hand fast.

“I, for one, am glad to see you two kissed and made up,” Farah announced as she began perusing the menu. “Shall we order?” 

Dirk and Todd glanced at each other as Farah hailed a server.

Once they were on their way, Farah smiled and looked back and forth between them before settling on Dirk. “So how’s the shoulder?”

**Author's Note:**

> And nothing went wrong ever again and they all lived happily ever after! Yay!  
> JK. Now I have to go watch season 2. Sads.  
> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment if you liked + want more Dirk Gently content! <3


End file.
